Beware of Thingies!!!

I am not happy with certain parts of my husband’s anatomy right now. I had deliberated for months about a plan, carefully weighing all factors, and that plan was to not get pregnant until summer 2009. I knew I did not want to be pregnant while chasing after a two-year-old, especially one that is still breastfeeding (A LOT, at times), teething and in diapers. Then, lo, one fateful, fertile August weekend, Danny decided to engage in some risky behavior, knowing full well we were in the Danger Zone. There were all sorts of famous-last-words type assurances made, and I put a stop to things quickly, but it was TOO LATE. This man’s little swimmers are major overachievers—the Michael Phelps of “man seed,” if you will. I knew as soon as I was one day late.

The first bit of fun was breast “tenderness” combined with a teething, nursing toddler. MY GOD. The pain! I was in tears most nights after nursing her at bedtime. When Audrey’s teething—which is always—she falls asleep on the boob with her jaw clamped shut. I seriously thought I was going to lose a nipple.

Then came the “morning” sickness. Like last time, I never actually throw up; I’m just really tired and nauseous for most of the day. Every diaper change is excruciating, even the wet ones. I keep the diaper bin out on the front porch—and hope the mail person can’t smell it! I mistakenly let Audrey eat whole cloves of roasted garlic one night and her diapers the next day were incredible. I hope I’m not ruined on garlic for life!

I don’t want to discourage anyone from “tandem nursing,” because every baby and pregnancy is different, but personally, so far, IT SUCKS! Breastfeeding and morning sickness do NOT go well together! I’m hungry all the time, but nothing sounds good to eat, let alone cook. I can’t even think about what I might possibly want to eat, because just doing that makes me ill. And being home with Audrey, I have to prepare food for her to eat. Blech. And she always wants mac-n-cheese, which I find especially nauseating.

Morning sickness and TEETHING do not go well together, either. Girl is up all night in pain, so I’m not getting near the rest I need.

About a week after I discovered that I was preggo, Danny came home from work limping. He blew his knee out while shooting hoops at lunch—same injury he had a few years ago and had surgery for. He’s having surgery again in a couple weeks. He’s being a trooper and trying to take care of things around the house, but he can only do so much after working all day and then hobbling around in discomfort. He has still managed to keep up on the cloth diapers, which is amazing. (We will go to disposable when he has his surgery!)

But meanwhile, the place is in shambles! The kitchen and bathroom border on unsanitary at times! Audrey gets a bath about once a week. I manage to shower a little more frequently. I think I’m getting a couple cavities, from snacking all night to keep the blood sugar up, eating mint candy all day and poor hygiene due to feeling gaggy. Laundry is piled EVERYWHERE. I had just started doing some freelance work and fortunately got the really big projects done before illness set in.

Family members come by to rescue Audrey so she doesn’t have to spend all day, every day, playing by herself while I lie on the couch. Fortunately, she can entertain herself for hours and hours with her animals and babies and books. I can actually do quite a bit with her while I’m on the couch: we do lots of coloring, read lots of books, sing songs. By the time I’m feeling better, I think she’ll know the alphabet, be able to count to 20 and have the entire flora and fauna of the Audubon guides to the PNW and California memorized.

Oh, and we are actually excited about Baby Two, Danny being the one experiencing most of that emotion right now. Audrey knows I’m pregnant, but doesn’t know what that means. Haven’t figured out when we’ll tell her yet, but she's a smarty-pants, so we should do it soon. We are home-birthing this time and have AWESOME midwives.

Last time the sickness lasted until week 15; I’m at about week nine now, but am improving slightly, so maybe it will be over sooner this time. I just want to be able to eat again…and to dance with Audrey when she asks me to.