"B" is for Boobie

Audrey's current best friend is a little red Elmo doll. If you know our stance on licensed characters, you may be wondering about Elmo's presence in our home. After Audrey was born I unearthed a box of stuffed animals from my teen and college years; among the bears and bunnies was Elmo. (A life-long Muppet fan, I have a vague recollection of some phase in my early 20s in which I thought Elmo was SO cute that I had to have a little toy doll of him. WTF?) Anyway, Elmo got tossed in the thrift-store pile, which of course never got hauled away, and that is where Audrey discovered him. It was love at first sight. She hugs him and says, "Elmo....he's pretty special."

So, the other day, as I lay on the couch, as I'm wont to do these days (see: "Beware of Thingies" post), Audrey was busy being a very good mommy to Elmo. She would have a drink of water, then Elmo would, back and forth. Then she looked at me. "Elmo wants milk." Being a sport, I said "sure" and held Elmo up to my shirt. Not what she had in mind. "Open it!" she commanded, lifting up my shirt and positioning Elmo on my NIPPLE (conveniently right there, since I never wear a bra these days...). As I lay there with Elmo latched on in the "side-lying" position, I was thinking that after two years of nursing this kid, my boobs had probably seen it all. But then I realized that with Audrey's imagination and vocabulary growing by leaps and bounds every day, lord only knows what's yet in store for my tits!! At least Elmo doesn't have teeth....