Maggie’s Birth Story, Plus First Few Weeks

She’s finally here! I was so tired of being pregnant, and now I know why: ten pounds of baby bearing down on everything! I think that Tosi, one of my midwives, knew Maggie was big because during all of my last several visits with her she worked in stories about women who birthed ten, eleven pound babies—with no problem. She also totally nailed Maggie’s weight after she was born. Just as they were about to put her on the scale, she said, “Ten pounds…even,” and that’s what she was! Midwives are amazing!!

Tosi and Rachel, my other midwife, kept warning me to not be surprised if Maggie didn’t arrive until my due date, which they had as May 14. Their anecdotal evidence over the years has shown that if moms are breastfeeding when they conceive, the second child does not arrive earlier than the first, or early like the first, but hangs out a little longer. I didn’t want to believe them, but of course they were right again. I would have liked her born on the 11th, since that’s my favorite date, but when that didn’t happen I REALLY didn’t want her to be born on May 13 because that is Danny’s mom’s birthday. Not only was the lobbying for giving birth on that day annoying, I just wanted her to have her own b-day. (When Danny called his mom with the news she said, “Well, we can still celebrate on the same day….”)

So, the night of the 13th, with me still miserably pregnant, we decided to try kick-starting things with S-E-X! The first time in like FIVE months because of all my issues I’d been having. A couple hours later, I was asleep on the couch, having weird dreams about not wanting my mom to watch Audrey while I was birthing because my mom was drunk all the time (SO not my mom…). I woke up around 12:45 and felt a pop and thought it was my water breaking, but I didn’t feel a big gush like when it happened with Audrey. I lay there for a while, feeling a couple of contractions—far apart—and then got up to go pee, at which time I noticed my PJ bottoms were soaked! I paced around the house, leaking fluid, waiting to see how regular the contractions were going to get.


When the contractions hit a regular interval (about eight minutes apart) I woke up Danny. That was about 2:30 a.m., and he gave Tosi a call. She said to let her know when the contractions lasted a minute or longer, or got really intense, or we just felt we wanted her there. Danny puttered around preparing the blanket warmer, sterilizing the scissors, setting out supplies, etc., while I walked and rocked through increasingly intense contractions. Danny wanted to call Tosi back at 3:30, but I kept saying, “I don’t know…let me see how the next contraction is.” Around 4 a.m., after I threw up and the contractions were definitely lasting a minute, he said, “I’m calling NOW.”

About 15 minutes later there was knock and I knew it must be the other Rachel, the midwife-in-training who had been our doula for Audrey’s birth (she lives just a few blocks away). Doula-Rachel starting setting up the birth tub and Tosi arrived about 15 minutes later. Then we got into the big, wonderful difference between home and hospital birth: I walked around and rested and hung on Danny and/or a dining room chair during contractions, while the midwives did their thing, interrupting me only a couple times to listen to the baby’s heart rate. Tosi asked if I wanted her to give me a vaginal exam and the thought hadn’t even crossed my mind, because I just knew things were progressing. She didn’t feel the need for one either. (With Audrey, the hospital nurses gave me one EVERY hour, even once when I was on the toilet!)

A little after five, it must have been, I got really hot and stripped of my pants, then I didn’t want my glasses on any more. Just a few minutes earlier, Danny had called my mom to tell her to head over because Audrey could wake up any time after six and we needed someone here for her. Then there was no break in contractions and everything was really intense and I suddenly started doing the grunting and lip blowing sounds. Danny was just thinking to himself, “Hmmmm….I wonder if this is happening soon?” when Tosi, hearing those sounds, was suddenly kneeling behind me, throwing down the splat mat, giving me the OK to push. They’d just finished getting the birth tub ready, but I couldn’t imagine myself climbing into something at that point, and Tosi could see the head already, so I said, “I just want to get on my hands and knees here.”

All this was going on in the living room/dining room. Danny got down on the floor with me next to the dining room table and I nearly squeezed his head off as I clung to his neck during pushes. The head seemed to take forever (although all the pushing was only 1/2 hour total), and it didn’t come all the way out! Her chin was still in! Another push got that out, then it took some more to get her out to her waist, and her right hand was up on her shoulder. She coughed and sputtered while halfway out, then finally one more push and she was all out. Very different than with Audrey, when I got the head out, then one more push and then rest of her poured out. At one point doula-Rachel and Tosi said, “Whoa whoa whoa,” and I held back pushing. (That was probably when I got my little tear, but it was small, not even requiring stitches.) Doula-Rachel made the catch, her first planned catch, and handed Maggie up to me between my legs. She totally looked like Audrey at her birth, but without the pointy head. It was love at first sight, of course, as I held her while the midwives rubbed her all over with blankets and she took her first breaths. Tosi had Danny come sit behind me and I lay back on him, and eventually we replaced him with an upturned chair. I didn’t think Maggie looked all that big as I held her, but she was pleasantly plump, not super new-borny looking. Tosi said it was a very gentle birth, the way it happened in stages like that.

My mom arrived about 13 minutes after Maggie was born, while I was impatiently waiting for the placenta to come out. We got Maggie latched on and I tried some pushing and finally it was out. It was healthy and HUGE!!! Tosi said they’re normally about as big as the spread of her hand, but this one went way beyond. The cord was long and thick, too. Tosi examined it and explained everything to Danny and my mom and me.

Audrey woke up around 6:30 and was a little weirded out be everything, I think, but Grandma was there to scoop her up. We showed her the baby, but she was more interested in the lit candles on the table. Tosi disappeared into the kitchen and came out with a platter of fruit, cheese and cookies she’d found, with a candle in the center and we all sang “Happy Birthday” to Maggie.

Here’s the other great part with the homebirth: When I was ready to get off the floor and try peeing, I then got to head to my own bed! Where I hung out with my new baby, hubby, daughter and mom, while the midwives cleaned up, did paperwork, and lastly, did the newborn exam, after me getting a couple hours to bond with Maggie.


I was surprised, and not surprised, when they told me she was 10 pounds. I didn’t think I looked that big! But I hadn’t been worried about the size at all—I knew my body could push out whatever was in there. But, I have to say, when she is stretched out next to me in bed I stare at her thinking, “Holy shit!! How were you inside me?? You are huge!!” She seriously looked like a six- or eight-week old when she was two weeks old.

The first week with Audrey was a little rough. Before the birth, Danny and I both had worries of, “Oh, how will we ever love any child as much as Audrey?” But after the birth, I totally couldn’t handle being around her! Part of it was feeling intense empathy for her, with her whole world turned upside down, but part of it was just not being able to handle a big noisy bouncing toddler. I just wanted to be holed away with my newborn, which the situation kind of necessitates. It was much better by the second week. I can tear myself from Maggie now, can handle Audrey again and try to fit in some just Audrey time whenever possible (though it isn’t much yet, and is constantly interrupted).


Danny is back at work and things are not easy. I was hoping Maggie would be a better sleeper than Audrey, but so far, no luck. She’s super sensitive to burps and poops and will stay awake for hours if either is bothering her, so I spend twice as much time tending to her as I should be. Not only does it cut into Audrey time, but also my time to eat, pee, shower, sleep, etc. I’m remembering now why Zesty Jenny would call her newborn the Tiny Dictator: everything is non-stop with a newborn! It is one thing after another! I think Maggie is even more high maintenance than Audrey, which I didn’t think was possible. Due to this, I started TOTALLY freaking out about the upcoming move, so we are hiring people to pack and move our shit—going for broke, but oh so less stressful!

With Maggie being so demanding, though, I’m physically and emotionally exhausted so the only tone of voice I have for Audrey, in all her two-year-old-ness, is exasperation, which isn’t fair or healthy—I don’t want her to learn to communicate that way! I vow to be better every day, but the days keep kicking my ass!!! Danny is taking at least three more weeks off starting next week, so life should improve dramatically then. Not that it is as bad as all that makes it seem. We have accepted a life of squalor and expensive convenience diet and are really really happy to be with our two girls, accomplishing one step forward each day for the two we take back. And we are enjoying soaking up all the newborn goodness—the sounds, the softness, the sleeping on the chest, the facial expressions. Adorable!!


I’ll hopefully start the family blog soon and send out a bunch of photos because these girls are ridiculously cute!!! Ya’ know, with all my free time…

Frou Frou Hoo Hoo

Well, this most certainly falls under the TMI category, but I'm sharing with all ya'll any way.

As part of the SEVEN months of health hell we have been going through around here, I've spent three months of that suffering some hard-to-diagnose problem in my, um, private parts. The doctors keep f'ing up the cultures, but then prescribing drugs anyway, which have not worked. So when the latest not-very-scientific diagnosis was given ("probably a bacterial infection of some sort..."), I decided not to inflict any more pharmies on my unborn child. My midwife has recommended some tinctures (that I still need to hunt down) to help with itching, and then yesterday told me about a natural remedy for various infections in that region (including strep b, which is nice, because we don't want that going on while birthing!). Her advice? Garlic. And I don't mean eating lots of it. Whole cloves baby, right up the box!


So, I think, "No problem." One in the morning, then switch it for a new one before bed; repeat for five or six days. I'm not ooky about my anatomy and would try anything at this point to end the misery that is my crotch, so I merrily popped one in. She also recommended rinsing with lavender oil, which also has antibacterial properties, so I mixed that up with some water in my peri bottle and spritz a little of it on after each pee. (Wow! Do I ever smell good!!)


After inserting the first clove of garlic yesterday, and feeling a bit like a human crock pot, I went out to run errands. While I was in line at the bank, I felt the clove begin to slowly work its way out. (Oh, I should mention that another thing I'm trying is going without undies, so everything can breath a little more.) So now I'm panicking that this clove of garlic is going to come all the way out and drop to the floor from my pant leg, right there in the bank. A clove of garlic, by the way, doesn't feel so good moving through that region of the anatomy! It's got pointy parts, and bends and stuff. I managed to keep it in 'til we got to the car, by which point, I SMELLED OF GARLIC!

So, now my plan is to just do this at night, when I'm safely laying down and gravity can't work against me.

We are alive...

Much illness + no more Audrey naps + preggo lady early bedtimes = no blog posting for forever!!

We seriously have not gone more than a couple days since September without someone falling ill, or me suffering morning sickness. Just when I think life is back on track and I'm just starting to get my house back in order, BAM! Stomach flu. Colds. Scary weirdo rash. Seriously. How many illnesses and maladies can one family get in a five-month stretch? Let's recap:

Mid-September, the morning sickness kicked in. Then I got the weird sinus thing that made me think my teeth were rotting out of my head. Followed by a UTI, then a yeast infection (woo-hoo!). That brought us to November, when Audrey and I got colds just as the morning sickness was beginning to ease a bit. We had a couple day reprieve, just in time to head to the inlaws for Thanksgiving, and then back at home we both got colds AGAIN!!! This was followed immediately by the stomach flu, just in time for Christmas.

January, YAY! New Year, everyone is healthy, oops, wait, why is Audrey complaining that her back hurts and tugging at her diaper a lot? We thought UTI (worried that the back pain was her kidneys) and had her go on antibiotics, but now I'm not so sure she ever even had one, because on the last day (day 10) of the meds, she got a little rash. These innocent-looking handful of spots suddenly exploded into huge hideous hive-type splotches all over her body. She was itchy and miserable. Then her left knee swelled up to the size of an apple. We hauled her to the doc, thinking it was a reaction to the amoxicillin, but she was diagnosed with anaphylactic purpura, which usually follows an upper respiratory infection, but it had been a while since her cold, so it still could be from the meds. A day later, an arm and a foot and the other knee swelled and got really painful and she couldn't walk or sit up on her own or use her hands. SO SAD!!! But then the rash just vanished, and finally all the swelling went away.


This illness is a hyper immune reaction, causing the body to attack blood vessels, usually in the skin, but it can also target ones in the kidneys and intestines, so we had to take her in for blood tests and had to get her to pee in a cup. She's MAJORLY anti-potty training, so we had to strip her of her diaper and lock ourselves in the bathroom with her when we knew she had to pee until she could hold it no longer, proceeded by much crying and wailing (not just by Audrey). We could be fucked for potty training for quite some time following all that trauma. But we got the sample!! And kidney function looks fine!! (Why does this girl insist on contracting illnesses that threaten the kidneys?? It will be a miracle if she doesn't have kidney problems as an adult....) So we don't know if the original complaints we thought were UTI were the start of the purpura thing (can cause abdominal pain), or if that was an added bonus, or if the purpura came from the meds.

With all the stress and sleepless nights of worry, Audrey-cuddling and 2 am medicine doses, I was not taking care of my own health at all, and now I have an evil cold that is NOT going away, causing more sleepless nights. Sigh.

It feels like the sickliest pregnancy EVER, but I keep reminding myself that I'm not having any serious preggo complications, like many women suffer. I'm almost to the third trimester already! Crazy!!! I don't think I'm eating enough with all that is going on, but still the belly grows, and little "Maggie" seems to be doing quite well in there, doing gymnastics, running on a treadmill, throwing punches, at ALL hours of the day.

One of these days, I'll try to get a belly photo with the rest of me in it, but I have been highly unattractive for months now with all the illness, plus preggo acne (fun!) and bad hair. Here's a recent photo of Audrey, just before the rash struck.