Big Ass Baby

Have I mentioned that my baby is HUGE?? When Maggie sits next to other babies about her age, it looks like she's going to eat them for lunch. And she's not all that gentle, grabbing at their faces, pulling hair. Made one cry today.




We haven't been on a scale in a while, so I'm not sure what she's officially weighing in at, but she is just so SOLID. And heavy. It surprises people when they attempt to hold her or pick her up. "Oh," they say. "Oh, my." This wouldn't be as much of a problem if I could, a) eat food, and b) she was not such a mama's girl.

Maggie has all sorts of food allergies/sensitivities so I'm on a super-restricted diet. And she's just now, at 10 months, starting to get interested in solids, which I'm afraid to give her because of all the food issues, and her being a gaggy baby.

So, just when I should be gorging myself, eating with abandon, attempting to sustain this Big Ass Baby with just my boobs, I am instead STARVING to death. I'm so tired of being hungry all the time!!

Things I cannot eat: dairy, wheat, oats, citrus, chocolate, fried foods (that last one is because of my system). No yogurt, no ice cream, no yummy big buttery breakfasts, no oatmeal, no potato chips, no CHOCOLATE. It is pretty much impossible for me to go out to eat, and I need to eat all day, so my life is consumed with thinking about, preparing, lusting after, worrying about, and shopping for food.

Boring-ass food. Rice, rice pasta, rice cereal, rice milk, apples, veggies, nuts (though I'm starting to worry about those, too), and poultry. I've just added in avocado for fat and fun. Sometimes we have salmon.

Maggie's just recently started allowing others to hold her (besides me and Danny), but only my mom and my friend Amala. And only for so long. Not that they can physically hold for long anyway. Because she's HUGE!

I have to hold her quite a bit at home because the three-year-old fucks with her. And I wear her in the Ergo carrier when I grocery shop, when we hike, when I have to do stuff with Audrey in her class or at the park. But I can put her on the floor/ground a lot more now that she's almost crawling and is content to scoot around.

The more we are out and about, the more I have to wear her, especially to get her to sleep, then I have to wear her for her whole nap. And we are out-and-about a lot these days because OH MY FUCKING GOD have you ever been home all day with a three-year-old??? Especially when there is a younger sibling to torment??

You might think this is leading to a complaint about my back, but it is my ASS that is killing me. I got hemorrhoids when I was preggo with Audrey, but they didn't last too long after she was born. As soon as I got pregnant with Maggie, they came back. And after birthing all ten pounds of her, they got really bad. And stayed that way for a long time, since I was either sitting on my ass nursing or walking around wearing that big baby. They're not as bad now, but they're not gone either, and I still get no rest, of course.

All that being said, I don't really mind any of it, because how can you say "no" to this face?